Argument #7: You’re just a man/woman in drag who only likes to get off wearing womens/mens clothing.

I just wanna start this one off by saying that this is just a poor excuse to try to belittle someone. Really. To the person who tries to tell me this can I ask you something… do you even know the difference between “drag queen/kings“, “transvestic fetishism“, and “transsexuals“? I only say this because I think you need to do a little reading and discover the differences that exist out there before you try to label someone to be something they ARE NOT!

Let me kindly point out that although covered under the “transgender umbrella”, drag is something all together set waaaaaay apart from a person having Gender Dysphoria. This individual who participates going out emanating, and often exaggerating someone of the opposite gender gets to go home at the end of the day and take off this mask of portrayal, being content with the gender they were born as. Cause if you don’t know transGENDER just means that it’s someone who resides outside of the gender binary and is completely different than transSEXUAL, which is someone who is transitioning over to the other gender. Please understand this HUGE difference, and see that although transsexual falls underneath the transgender umbrella, you can’t assume everything that falls underneath it all are the same. I can’t just come home and take off what I am wearing and then feel okay… mentally I am a woman, just with a man’s body, and nothing I can ever put on, or take off, can change this.

Now let me also humbly point out to you that thinking that I ONLY “get my rocks off” by wearing women’s clothing is a hurtful assumption! Don’t get me wrong here, there are transsexuals who do get sexually excited when wearing clothing of the opposite gender. This happens primarily in someone who also is attracted to the gender of said clothing. When they look in the mirror they see not the gender they were born as, but as a version of themselves that is now the gender they are attracted to which leads them to the sexual arousal that they get. Me personally I had an ex who loved to see me as a woman, and it became a sexual thing that we did portraying two lesbians together. There is nothing wrong with this, and sex is a natural, healthy thing for a human to participate in. If this was something that I only did sexually, and then once it was over I went back into “guy mode”, then this is just a fetish and nothing else. But you see in my case in particular, afterwards I still felt to be a woman mentally. I still had this underlying GD that continued on.

Now get this, the biggest thing to prove this legitimacy of NOT having the aforementioned fetish, is just the fact alone that I have felt this way my entire life. Since I was of age 4 I felt like a girl… and this was well before I even knew what sex was! So how can you tell me I just have a fetish when I’ve been this way my whole life!? Don’t get me wrong, there are those who’s GD has only surfaced in adolescence. There are studies that show the sexual dimorphism of the bed nucleus of the stria terminalis isn’t present before adulthood… so this could have something to do with it. There is the claim as well that because of this there was “no way” for me to know I had this condition when I was that young, but I did, and many others have, so there is something there still in childhood. Everyone is different though, so it can be anything really. I just know that for myself this is how it’s been, and my therapist has labeled me a “textbook transsexual”, which really just means that I am the common denominator of people in my position. So, I can’t speak for everyone (and no one can ever do this anyways, no matter who you are), just the average.

The verdict? There is a major difference in all sub-categories of people who fall within the transgender spectrum. To label someone from one group as someone from another is wrong, and is equivalent to trying to label blue as red, just because it’s a color. If you don’t know the differences, then please try to inform yourself, or even just ask someone who is more knowledgeable than you on the subject to try to gain some foresight on what you are trying to go out of your way on and stigmatizing someone about. If you don’t you may come off as transphobic, and you wouldn’t want that would you?

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