Not too long ago I learned something that changed how I see almost everything about gender. I had finally picked up the book “Whipping Girl” by Julia Serano, and one thing she brings up is something called “oppositional sexism”.
Oppositional sexism is “the belief that female and male are rigid, mutually exclusive categories”. A man should not have any of the “attributes, aptitudes, abilities, and desires” commonly associated with women, and vice-versa. Anyone who does not follow this schema, any manly women or womanly men, should be dismissed and punished for disobeying the divine, natural and social order that deemed the two genders to be mutually exclusive opposites.
We are all human beings… born from the same embryo into a male/female dimorphic binary reproductive being. I can agree to having a binary, but formed into a sliding scale from female to male, and naturally having 4 separate independent scales for the different parts of the human psyche (Sex[body], Gender Identity[mind], Gender Expression[soul], Sexual Attraction[consciousness]). With two different major hormone systems that both have levels of, with one being a majority to the other thanks to the genitals (men tend to forget that they also run on estrogen, just much smaller amounts then women).
Add a dash of patriarchy, remembering that no more than 94 years ago the women’s right to vote was ratified in 1920. Women still weren’t really accepted to be people, and by “people”, I mean “men”, well into the 50’s… 60’s… 70’s… I know my mother would talk about being treated unfairly, and in high school too being told to take typing and cooking… and she was born in the mid 50’s. The first real chance for a woman to be president was just in 08, so that’s 6 years ago now. Then as well, most the studies I’ve been seeing only just finally started studying transgender people with a serious look within the 2000’s.
The major difference (besides the major physical characteristics that makes up someone’s Gender Identity) is, the brain itself (there has been found to be a difference between the brains of the sex’s), and the major hormones running in the individual. Notice how I never talk about the chromosomes… because they don’t matter here to make up a person’s identity, only when you are developing in the womb. You can say they make a difference in someone’s identity if there was a chromosomal disorder and they were XXY for example, but how the different sexes act and think differently is not something that results from having different chromosomes. You aren’t forming from an embryo anymore.
We all have emotions, and any man who’s yelling at his woman because she’s being “too emotional” needs to calm his own damn emotions and stop being angry! Anger IS an emotion, right? To me, it’s on the same level as sadness, because both drive the person to seeing red (or blue, lol). As in, they push the person to be “not themselves”. In both occasions though, between a heated argument, and crying at a sad movie, these emotions fill the psyche and takes over unless the person is able to control it. Emotions are a shared trait between the sexes, though I will admit, since starting estrogen they come more naturally now, they flip from one to another more, and have become somewhat stronger. I can say it would be easier for a man to be able to kill that part of themselves for good, and be an emotionless being (which is a common occurrence for men in most cases thanks to society, parental figures, or even peer pressure), but women are just as able to do so themselves.
I’m told women see colors more vividly, which would make sense as to why they like to fill their worlds with color (though it would make more sense for men to, like birds, be the ones to dress more colorfully to attract their mates… maybe that’s how it was a long time ago, haha).
Other than that, everyone want’s the same love, everyone needs those same affections, despite how much in denial the men may be about it. When you kill off your emotions, you aren’t in touch with them as much as the average person should be. Sexual acts, and the sub/dom binary, again is just another sliding scale… Sexual Attraction actually. I mean, you can be a man, and happy to be one, and be on the receiving end lovingly… to each their own, my Mistress.
Some would say being maternal is a motherly and womanly thing… but I’ve seen men that were more that kind of person than a lot of women I’ve known, haha. Again, it’s a sliding scale all dependent on how this person was raised, and their aspirations and dreams in life.
When it comes to which gender is smarter, I read in a book that was about how the brain itself worked, talking about how when they started testing, they never took into consideration if they were currently ovulating or not. It was shown that on average women have lower test scores when this happens as compared to when they are taken at the time of the month that it is of no concern. Given the chances, maybe 1/3 of the women are currently having their Aunt over, therefore skewing the results to show they have lower scores on average. In the end of it all there are women out there that are smarter then most the population of the world, and women are indeed kept back from many things that are considered to be “the man’s world”. A woman on average CAN be just as smart as any man, and if you deny this, you are blind to the world.
The verdict? We are all human. Gender is mostly constructed by society. As humans, we all have needs that when met make us able to live a healthy, and fulfilling life. Affection, connection, love, joy, sadness, anger, smite, cruelty, hate, contentment, indifference, fear, alarm, surprise, relief, pride, embarrassment, frustration… are all emotions shared by both sexes. Estrogen may make someone more connected to how they feel, and may also drive emotions into overdrive, but so does testosterone too. Just different emotions at times. Women and men are equal, ignore the stereotypes.